New author: Patrick Balester

On Saturday November 15th at 1:00 mystery author Patrick Balester will be at the Hiawatha Public Library. Patrick is from Kansas City and has written one book: In the Dismal Swamp. In July I was the lucky winner of a signed copy of his book. I'm always looking for new authors, and Patrick did not disapppoint. When I first started the book I was afraid I wasn't going to like it, but I was hooked early on and soon didn't want to put it down. I didn't know "who dun it" until it was revealed in the book. I totally missed the outcome! There is an actual place called the Great Dismal Swamp and Patrick will talk more about that location when he's here. It should be a really interesting time. We plan to have copies of the book available for purchase at the event. If you can't wait you can check out In the Dismal Swamp from the Hiawatha Library.

Hope to see you there!

Cancer really sucks!

When I started this blog I intended it to be more for readers advisory and to keep While Others Sleep members informed about what we're reading and mystery/suspense news. It's turned out to be as much about my journey with cancer as anything! While Others Sleep and my mystery books help me get through this journey.

My family has something like a mantra "Cancer Really Sucks". We have buttons, car decals, wrist bands, and book bags with that statement on it. Cancer does really suck -- in many ways. From a medical stand point cancer and its treatment sucks your energy from you, and eventually it sucks your life away. It sucks on a daily level -- fatigue, weekly labs, shots, chemo every three weeks, CT scans. And always in the back of your mind is the concern about what is the cancer doing now.

My cancer is not curable, but my Dr. says I am doing well and I'm tolerating the chemo better than a lot of people, so I'm clinging to that. I'm not afraid to die, but I'm going to put it off as long as I can! I have so much support from family, friends, and co-workers! I may have cancer, but I am so lucky in so many ways!

Next post will be about a new mystery author I've discovered. No sense in letter cancer suck away some of the things I like most.!

August releases by authors we've read in While Others Sleep

Several authors we've discussed in the book club have new books coming out in August:

Mary Jane Clark -- It only takes a moment (Aug. 5th)
Harlan Coben -- Fade away (Aug. 26th)
Tess Gerritsen -- The keepsake (Aug. 26th)
Stuart Kaminsky -- People who walk in darkness (Aug. 5th)
Margaret Maron -- Death's half acre (Aug. 20th)
Kathy Reichs -- Devil bones (Aug. 26th)

Most, but not all, are in the Metro system so call us to reserve them!

I'm baaack!

I haven't written anything for a long time. Actually it's been since the flood. What devastation! We used to live in Czech Village and our homes there, although far from the river (we thought) were hit by the flood. It's so sad to see now, 6 weeks later, the area looks like a ghost town or a battle ground. And then there's the loss of most of the Cedar Rapids Public Library adult collection and the closing of the main library for probably a year. Such a terrible loss! On the bright side, Cedar Rapids is sharing some of their staff with Hiawatha, Marion, and West. How would we have survived this summer without their help? More importantly, it has been so good to work with Cedar Rapids staff, most of whom I'd never met. That's one bright side of the Flood -- an enhanced working relationship with our counterparts at Cedar Rapids. They have all been so wonderful to work with and although I look forward to Main being back to "normal" I will really miss working daily with our Cedar Rapids friends!

HIAWATHA LIBRARY STAFF -- IS THERE ANY BETTER?

When you are given a grim prognosis it changes how you view things. You no longer have "forever" to let people know how you feel about them. You can't wait until tomorrow, because tomorrow might not come. Of course, we are all in that position but we can ignore it because as far as we know everything is OK. When you are told everything is not OK, you approach things differently. I've always tried to be thankful for the people I have in my life. Now I need to express it publicly. Those of you who know me and my family know we're very close. Somehow Rick and I have raised three loving caring children and the cutest grandsons on the earth. That closeness and love makes the diagnosis both harder and easier. The potential loss is overwhelming, but the overriding love and support only humbles me. What did I deserve to get such a wonderful family? I was raised in a loving home and so were my kids. Many people search their entire lives for that. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

And then there is my work family: the staff of the Hiawatha Library. I have put them through so much -- MS, cancer, blood infections, disability, cancer again. They don't have to stay with me, but they do. They are there for me, caring and supportive, They are my legs when I need them to be and THEY make it possible for me to keep working. I have probably a sick need to work. I love working at the library even after 21 years. I love the Hiawatha Library. I'm so proud of what we've become. I've seen the transformation from a small mostly children's library to being an important component of the Metro Library Network. As a small library we can provide a homey feel, while still providing incredible services. We don't have the most books, or the best reference, but we provide the best service. Our staff cares about the people who enter our doors and for us those people become like family -- they make us sad, mad, proud, and happy. Our staff, like most families, is dysfunctional. We don't always agree, we pout, we get mad BUT when the shit hits the fan we are there for each other. I know because I experience it everyday. I'm not going to name names, because I don't want to forget anyone, but there is almost never a day someone from our staff doesn't do something for me and make me feel like struggling with chemo is worth it, just to be around these wonderful people a little longer. I usually don't express my emotions too much. I like to be in control, but emotions are taking over. Watch out, I may become a blubbering idiot with my feelings clearly on my sleeve.

Then there's The While Others Sleep book club. Where did that wonderful group come from? What a really really cool group of people, who make my life fuller. And not just because of the books.

CANCER IS A BUMMER, BUT LOVE ABOUNDS

It is amazing how when something bad happens, something good comes with it. Getting a diagnosis of terminal cancer is a bummer, a BIG bummer, but the outpouring of love and concern is overwhelming. All the people who have expressed their love and sent their prayers and good thoughts is so comforting. People I don't know personally have sent their prayers and good thoughts. People of all faiths are praying: Christian (conservative, liberal, mainstream), Muslims, agnostics. It is overwhelming, but in a positive sense. I hope I can get through this journey without losing site of all that's good here. I've taught my kids that we live in a friendly universe, that there's a lot more love than hate. We just have to try to give and receive love and not let hate prevail.
Enough of this cancer crap. I may not live to an old age, but the time I have will be filled with the things and people I love, and who love me. My heart felt thanks to all of you who have touched my life so far!

CANCER -- THE BIGGEST MYSTERY OF ALL?

I haven't blogged for about a month. There have been other things more important to deal with. Among those things is cancer. In 2003 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. For over four years there was no sign of the cancer after I underwent radiation and chemotherapy. Then In March I had some "suspicious" masses on a semi-routine CAT scan. That was followed by a PET scan and a lung biopsy. The cervical cancer has metastisized and moved to the lung. There is no cure. It is terminal. Without treatment the doctors think I would probably have a year. With chemotherapy I'd have a little longer. It is so hard to tell your husband, kids, mother and co-workers that you are dying! I'm not that old. I'm not ready to leave the people and things I love, but it is what it is. Five year survival for this type of cancer is small 3-10%. But that means there are 3 people in every 100 that survive 5 years. Why can't I be one of those? I'm going to start chemotherapy and do everything medically I can and I'm going to try to be a survivor -- no matter what the odds. My son put it well: we will let the doctors take care of the medical side of things and we will take care of the faith and positive thinking. It is what it is and I need to make the most of the time I have. Funny thing is I feel ok. I have no symptoms. Why does cancer strike when it does? No one really seems to know. I just know I will live my life as I have for as long as I can. Your prayers and good thoughts are always welcome!